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The Yellow Springs vagina tree (okay, it's actually a vulva tree) has captured the curiosity, delight, and ire of many in the area. A recent police report noted a man who hung felt penises on the tree was yelling at passers-by. 🍆🍑🌳
  1. "Penises invade local vagina tree"
  2. "Vagina tree attracts unwanted penises"
  3. "Penises don't last long in vagina tree"
    (They were removed after one day.)
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The season just isn't the same without watching my favorite Christmas movies. Here are a few I watch each year.
  1. Scrooged
    Because Bill Murray is such an epic asshole, but still a pure delight. And because you can really sympathize with his reckoning.
  2. Irving Berlin's White Christmas
    Song, dance, and a hotel in distress that needs to be rescued. Basically, it just makes me want to get snowed in up in Vermont somewhere. And Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen are fantastic together.
  3. The Nightmare Before Christmas
    Because no good deed goes unpunished. But also because it's about realizing your strengths and playing to them, not trying to be everything else. And the music kicks serious ass.
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The day before Thanksgiving, no less. What sort of terrible irony is this?
  1. "It had to be the nachos. HAD TO BE. There is no other common denominator."
  2. Email sent at 6:30 a.m., after first round of nausea: "Hi all, I'll be working from home the first part of the day due to food poisoning. I plan to come in around noon."
  3. "My mom just texted me a bunch of instructions on how to treat food poisoning."
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  1. The tanorexia is not hot. It was never hot. I was purely orange, in no shade that existed in nature. (Makes panicked mental note to go to derm for mole mapping.)
  2. The overplucked brows are very questionable, especially given as how a) I have always had PHENOMENAL brows, and b) I cannot believe that a paid salon professional thought it was a good idea to wax them into tadpoles.
  3. Upon closer inspection, I'm more or less willing to forgive myself on the sartorial choices of the time (khaki pageboy caps, 4" platform flip-flops, blatantly branded t-shirts from Abercrombie, American Eagle, etc.).
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