SHIT THAT GOES THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU FIND A STASH OF HIGH SCHOOL PHOTOS

  1. The tanorexia is not hot. It was never hot. I was purely orange, in no shade that existed in nature. (Makes panicked mental note to go to derm for mole mapping.)
  2. The overplucked brows are very questionable, especially given as how a) I have always had PHENOMENAL brows, and b) I cannot believe that a paid salon professional thought it was a good idea to wax them into tadpoles.
  3. Upon closer inspection, I'm more or less willing to forgive myself on the sartorial choices of the time (khaki pageboy caps, 4" platform flip-flops, blatantly branded t-shirts from Abercrombie, American Eagle, etc.).
  4. The bikini-on-a-beach supermodel pose with "I MISS U" spelled out in sand is as laughable, almost, as thinking you were going to marry your high school boyfriend.
  5. Your high school body was super small. (Makes mental note to go HAM at gym; quickly checks self with note that 17-y/o physique is unattainable and unhealthy to strive for as 29-y/o woman.)
  6. You miss your friends. A LOT. And you're lucky (& grateful) that you're still so close with several of them, even 12 years later.