Social Media Bios: Past, Present, and Future

Once only needed by elite published folks—now any yahoo with two thumbs or a voice-enabled device feels the need to listroduce™ themselves. I'm no exception.
  1. "She'll loan you her toothbrush / She'll bartend your par-tay"
  2. Recently tested positive for being stubborn as fuck.
  3. Passion for carbs, sarcasm, and Rock & Roll.
  4. Always briskly walking in the wrong direction.
  5. Lived with a black cat for 14 years.
  6. Always sneezes three times.
  7. Chronic oversimplifier.
  8. Yes, Rock.