THINGS I REFUSE TO DO DURING MY WEDDING

I never thought I wanted to get married but now I have very strong feelings about this $h!t...
  1. Do a first dance - These are always awful and even worse when people take ballroom lessons. I will not subject people to the awkwardness.
  2. Daddy/Daughter dance - My dad died. This will just make me sad.
  3. Engagement pictures - absolute worst.
  4. The staged wedding party pictures after the wedding - I'm going to be ready to drink and I feel like a good photographer will get plenty of great pics.
  5. Throwing my garter - nope. Who wears a garter? That shit is creepy.
  6. The day after brunch - everyone is hungover!!!! No one wants to go!!!!