I SELF-IDENTIFY AS

  1. the itchy limbo in between laundry cycles
  2. drama rehashed 2 years later
  3. a long-winded guinea pig-related analogy
  4. your neighbor's small & cute pomeranian that is actually a yappy fucking curmudgeon
  5. a meme that has finally had its day and is crossing into meta territory
  6. a freezer-burnt pea
  7. an unsuccessful pinned tweet
  8. an unsuccessful self-revelatory Facebook status
  9. an unsuccessful list