1. drug trafficking
  2. pledging for Alpha Gamma Delta
  3. doing a culinary internship in Disney World while dating my ex-boyfriend
  4. releasing soundcloud rap tracks called "Steal My Shit"
  5. claiming an EP is on its way for the last four years
  6. fighting a court case to get his license because his Constitution Party dad never got him a SSN
  7. wearing ill-fitting pants