EVERYTHING WRONG WITH MAN BUNS
...unless you can pull off man buns, but let's face it, you probably can't.
- •Most of them are weak and feeble, like newborn foals, but feeble, and with less to offer the world.
- •There's nothing in them. There are no gifts. There is no wish-granting genies. There are no shining jewels. It's hair. Just fuckin balled up hair with a rubber band around it. And crumbs.
- •They can't even lift.
- •When you take them out. It's just like a long, gross river of hair sludge.
- •Guys are like, "lemme just never wash my hair cause I can wrap this shit up." And then what? Mold. Mildew. Chlamydia.
- •Usually they're all loose and saggy and they droop like a shriveled grape.
- •They're natural born killers. I've seen them do it myself.
- •They hold too many secrets and I don't trust them.