1. "You know what I should do? I should just shave off all my facial hair except the hair on my chin. I'll let those hairs grow nice and long. People love it when you have chin hair and nothing else"
  2. "Honestly, I wish all of my v necks plunged past my nipples. My man cleavage isn't gunna force it's hair sweat on everybody by itself."
  3. "I'm sure nobody as this gym will mind if I play my music out loud. Everybody loves phish."
  4. "I was I could cover my body in more camouflage right now."
  5. "What if instead of acting like a normal human being in pictures, I just point straight at the person standing next to me and open my mouth like a gaping ape?"
  6. "Bro, I should totally wear those cargo shorts."
  7. "These casual jeans would look great with a pair of my leather dress shoes."
  8. "No, my finger nails are totally clean enough."
  9. "This outfit wouldn't be complete without my white tube socks."
  10. "What, am I not supposed to have a Beer can on every casual t-shirt I wear around the garage?"
  11. "Well, my floppy dick isn't going to take a terrible picture of itself. Everybody who gets these pics will love how it looks like an angry dark pickle."