Trigger warning for a story about bugs and ~*murder*~
  1. I have a confession.
  2. I am a murderer.
  3. A bug murderer.
    I know I should capture them and release them outside but sometimes I just can'tttttt.
  4. Like tonight...
  5. I was flossing my teeth, when I saw a silver fish scurry across the floor out of the corner of my eye.
  6. But not just any silver fish.
  7. The biggest one I've ever seen in my life.
  8. No exaggeration. It was a good 2-inches long.
  9. ...
    I was going to provide photos for context but I almost barfed just with a quick glance at the search results and I didn't want to put that on anyone else.
  10. So I tried to get it with a tissue, but I was basically crying at this point and only snagged a few of its legs.
  11. They were still wiggling in the tissue.
  12. I was this close to vomming.
  13. It ran and hid under my dresser.
  14. I grabbed my ski pole from my closet to jab at it to either try to impale it or push it out from under the dresser.
  15. It then ran off into the corner where I was able to fully kill it in the tissue.
  16. But it made some severe crunching noises and I started gagging and yelling "I'm sorry!" at it as I flushed it down the toilet.
  17. Then I was brushing my teeth when I looked up at the ceiling of my shower and, what did I see? A huge ass spider.
  18. Ugghhh I hate spiders!
  19. I grabbed a cup of water and splashed it up at the spider to knock it down to the floor of the shower.
  20. I first thought that I would try to just get it to go down the drain.
  21. But that didn't work so I smushed it with some more tissues.
  22. It had a big body and made some really gross crunching noises and, again, I started gagging and crying "I'm sorry!"
  23. So, currently, I feel really itchy and I think there are bugs everywhere and I'm not ready to turn off the lights for fear of more coming out of the woodwork in revenge.
  24. And I'm also too worked up and guilty to sleep.