MY FAVORITE DANCE MOVES AND YOU CAN TOO

Watch out! If there's a dance floor at this party/bar/wedding/gala/etc. I'm hitting the dance floor (inappropriately) early in the evening. Here are a few of my go-to moves that are crowd pleasers, no matter the venue. You're sure to slay with any of these in your repertoire.
  1. The Shopping Cart
    Here I am, just casually walking through the imaginary grocery store that suddenly popped up in the middle of the dance floor with my imaginary cart, tossing products in the basket. Oh, hm, what's the nutrition content on this product? Nah, put it back on the shelf. Repeat from beginning.
  2. The Sprinkler
    Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
  3. The Geezer
    This is my go-to. Keep both feet planted firmly in place. Bend the top of your spine and neck at a 30deg angle to slightly look down. Now shuffle your feet slowly, right then left, while giving your hips and arms a bit of a flail. You can transition to a robot by holding your arms at 90-degree angles at your sides, palms open and flat, and twist your head to the right and left.
  4. The Wild Geezer
    Repeat the shuffle/flail move as described above, but this time with your neck and spine tilted back at a 30deg angle so that you're looking up and bent backwards a bit. Let your arms flail a bit behind your back. You may feel a nice spine stretch/crack here, too.
  5. The Time Warp
    It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the ri-i-i-i-ight. Put your hands on your hips. And bend your knees in ti-i-ime. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives your ins-a-a-a-ane. Let's do the time warp again.
  6. The Zombie
    Stick your arms out straight in front of you and now bend and crinkle your body and legs in weird angles and directions. Now twist a bit to the right and take three scraping steps in that direction. Now twist a bit to the left and take three scraping steps in that direction. Repeat.
  7. The Lawn Mower
    Gotta start the engine on this bad boy! Reach down and pull the (omg, am I going to have to Google what this thing on a lawn mower is called??) recoil starter (!! also called a pull start) a couple of times to get the engine going. Now walk a couple of steps forward. Oh crap, the engine puttered out. Better pull that recoil starter again!
  8. The "Huh? What's That?"
    Cup your right ear and lean to the right while pushing away with your left arm and kinda shaking your hips and body to the beat. "Huh? What's that?" Repeat to the left by cupping your left ear and leaning to the left while pushing away with your right arm. "Huh? What's that?"
  9. The Q-Tip
    Because you had a hard time hearing things/people/the music during the last dance move, follow with this one — With your right hand, twist an imaginary Q-Tip in your right ear, push away with your left arm, wiggle your hips a bit, now throw that Q-Tip away acros your body to the left. Repeat to the left.
  10. The Monster Mash
    Stand stock still. Stick your arms out in front of you with a slight bend in the elbow and form fists with your hands. Then mash them up and down, one at a time, while rotating your body slightly right then left. You can bob your head and/or knees in time, as well.
  11. The Figure Eight
    Stand with your feet hip-width apart (or further if you're gonna get low, low, low). Bend your knees and start moving them in a figure eight. Now, you have choices with your hands and upper body. You can put your hands on the tops of your knees (moving your shoulders with your knees), you can stick your hands out to the sides and slowly lean right then left, you can roll your hands in front of you like you're punching one of those tiny punching bags that goes really fast... Be creative here!
  12. The Conga
    Look at the people happily dancing around you and yell, "CONGA!!!" Let someone start a chain by grabbing your hips, then someone grabs their hips, and so on until everyone's connected. While people are connecting up, start moving the line: walk forward 3 steps and then tap your foot out to the side on the fourth step. Repeat. Don't forget to shake your hips and chug your arms to the beat or you can do that Chiquita Banana arm move, olé!
  13. The Hype Up
    Do an exaggerated box-step/figure-eight-step with your arms out in front/to the side of you, palms facing up and pushing/fanning the air up. This will make everyone think you're about to breakdance. Then don't.
  14. The Just Don't Care
    Wave your hands in the air. Like... like you just don't care... (It's also good to look a little zonked out here and sway your hips and body as your wave your hands in the air... like you just don't care...)
  15. See you on the dance floor! Tonight!