FOODS THAT ARE TOO MUCH WORK TO EAT

You die before figuring out how to eat, peel, or cut the god damn things
  1. Mangos
    I probably need a knife sharpener
  2. Beets
    The purple ones that stain your fingernails, hands, and the wool sweater you've already dry cleaned 7 times this month
  3. Kiwi
    Sawing off fur for 3 minutes just to eat two bites. Unless you cut your kiwi into shapes? If so, you should be adding to the "Reasons I Have Gobs of Life to Waste" list
  4. Brie
    Do you eat the rind wrapper thing? People who eat it: do you actually know if it's safe?
  5. Filtered Brita water
    Changing the filter isn't ever going to happen
  6. Un-pitted olives, dates, etc.
    Someone will remove them at $7.25 an hour why didn't you buy those instead of making me chew around the pit I mean what kind of party guest are you anyway
  7. Homemade spring rolls
    Totally game over after that first bite: sliced veggies spewing EVERYWHERE and the white worm noodles sticking in your hair
  8. Pomegranates
    There are seeds involved but what do you do with them? If you have to watch a YouTube vid about the various elements of your food......no
  9. Vanilla beans
    These are delish, but finding vbeans is as much of a hassle as the multiple cut-scrapes needed for a single recipe. This is for pretentious baking, not "I feel like eating an entire cake tonight" baking
  10. Pistachios.
    Suggested by   @annepdxsnail
  11. Artichokes
    Suggested by   @aus10
  12. Lobster/ crab. I don't eat that but they're literally wrapped in cartilage. No bueno
    Suggested by   @thetrillwitch
  13. Oranges
    I'm really lazy.
    Suggested by   @ashley