HOW YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY SPEND YOUR TIME IN PDX

It's not gonna be weird.
  1. Washing your dog
    It rains a lot, which makes every surface mucky. And your dog's paws yucky.
  2. Responding to the question, "Have you eaten at ______ yet?"
    Multiple eateries on every block. In every 'hood. And people here apparently don't cook at home.
  3. Searching for a place to sit at cafes
    "Working remotely" is such a Pacific Northwest buzzword. But there are dudes with design pens clogging cafe tables, just like in the tablet commercials. Also bearded dudes reading obscure philosophy. They are probably not working.
  4. Going to 12 different grocery stores to buy your food
    TJs, Whole Foods, New Seasons, Zupans, Safeway, Fred Meyer, local place, international store, ETC ETC ETC FOREVER AND EVER
  5. Walking
    People bike to get around, sure. But the walkability score for a lot of neighborhoods is close to 💯. And there are also the forests and parks, which are made for mosey-saunter hikes.
  6. Driving illegally
    It's a place you have to drive for a long time to understand, apparently? Left turns on red, diagonal turns, flashing yellow lights, roundabouts with stop signs.
  7. Feeling a sense of community in each neighborhood.
    Fav stops: the house that gives out dog treats to walkers, the free seeds for bee pollen plants, the poem-posts, every house with fairy lights. Out of the running: A dude in his banana costume on his porch at 4 PM and the decorative prosthetic leg hanging from a tree. Maybe it's a little weird.