HOW YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY SPEND YOUR TIME IN PDX
It's not gonna be weird.
- •Washing your dogIt rains a lot, which makes every surface mucky. And your dog's paws yucky.
- •Responding to the question, "Have you eaten at ______ yet?"Multiple eateries on every block. In every 'hood. And people here apparently don't cook at home.
- •Searching for a place to sit at cafes"Working remotely" is such a Pacific Northwest buzzword. But there are dudes with design pens clogging cafe tables, just like in the tablet commercials. Also bearded dudes reading obscure philosophy. They are probably not working.
- •Going to 12 different grocery stores to buy your foodTJs, Whole Foods, New Seasons, Zupans, Safeway, Fred Meyer, local place, international store, ETC ETC ETC FOREVER AND EVER
- •WalkingPeople bike to get around, sure. But the walkability score for a lot of neighborhoods is close to 💯. And there are also the forests and parks, which are made for mosey-saunter hikes.
- •Driving illegallyIt's a place you have to drive for a long time to understand, apparently? Left turns on red, diagonal turns, flashing yellow lights, roundabouts with stop signs.
- •Feeling a sense of community in each neighborhood.Fav stops: the house that gives out dog treats to walkers, the free seeds for bee pollen plants, the poem-posts, every house with fairy lights. Out of the running: A dude in his banana costume on his porch at 4 PM and the decorative prosthetic leg hanging from a tree. Maybe it's a little weird.