SO YOU JUST MOVED TO PORTLAND

A translation guide
  1. "There's a major winter storm coming through"
    Translation: it will snow 1-2 inches
  2. "How long have you lived here?"
    Translation: say 10 years and don't you dare mention California
  3. "Let's go for a hike"
    Translation: we will climb up an entire mountain
  4. "Let's go for a walk"
    Translation: we will go on a rigorous trek through the forest for many hours
  5. "Let's stroll around"
    Translation: we will walk for at least 6 miles
  6. "I'd like to get outside today"
    Translation: I'd like to perform rigorous physical activity outside today
  7. "I got a run in earlier"
    Translation: I ran an easy 30 miles
  8. "I'm thinking about getting a different car"
    Translation: I should get a Subaru
  9. "Let's grab brunch"
    Translation: wait 45 minutes for traditional American food
  10. "Charming building for rent"
    Translation: the only windows in the whole building are in the front door