STUFF OTHER PEOPLE SAY AT WINE TASTINGS THAT I WISH I SAID FIRST

  1. "The 18 months in oak softens the tannins, certainly."
    The tannins were attacking my throat. A bottle of this wine cost more than all of my monthly bills and tasted like feet.
  2. "The Togni 2011 is such a classic Napa cab."
    My new band name: Classic Napa Cab
  3. "We decanted the Revello twice. Otherwise I wouldn't touch that until 2025 or 2030."
    This wine was like $60. Can you imagine something that trivial taking up space in your home for 15 years simply because it kinda sucks?
  4. "I'm sensing baking spices."
    BASIC
  5. "There's a touch of raisined fruit."
    Plastic? Sulfites? Hard tannins? You mean rotten grapes?
  6. "HOHOHOHO, well you'll definitely never say, 'That's a super grippy Pinot noir.'"
    Please die. Also this wine was $12
  7. Something about lush fruit
    Lush lush lush lush
  8. "A bit too oaky for my taste"
    Go lick a pine tree
    Suggested by   @paigeclaudette