Things That Make You Think Your Relationship is Cursed

  1. Around the time you first get together, your SO's job starts treating him poorly.
  2. The week you move in together, you get fired from your job of two years.
    The reason? "The stock situation." (There wasn't one.)
  3. Your SO's cat is murdered by the psychopathic ten year old neighbor boy.
    They proceed to torture him about it for the next 6 months.
  4. A old friend of SO's kills herself after suffering PPD.
  5. You get a new job, only to be fired a month later.
    For not being smiley enough... in a call center.
  6. The first company that fired you is lying to the government, telling them you made a lot more money than you did. This means you don't get unemployment until 3 months after you first filed.
    The only good part is that said company got in huge trouble for lying and got audited.
  7. You gain about 30 lbs, partly due to hormonal birth control.
  8. No matter how hard you work or how much time you spend at the gym, you only gain weight.
  9. SO's grandmother dies.
  10. As a result, his mother develops an acute stress illness. SO is worried her brain tumor is coming back.
  11. You can't find a goddamn job, and the holidays are rough.
  12. Your SO's mom, whom you liked very much, sits you down and tells you she doesn't like you.
  13. You break your engagement ring.
  14. Your sister resents you for getting engaged.
  15. You finally get a job, but two months in, your paranoid boss flips out, accuses you and your coworkers of being terrorists, and fires you.
    The coworkers had quit long before.
  16. This firing happened a day before you were meant to get health insurance, which you desperately need.
  17. After a stern talking to about money from your psychiatrist, your SO has to stop you killing yourself out of despair.
  18. You get another job and love it, but everything makes you flinch like an abused dog; you're sure you're going to get fired any second.
  19. Your friend comes down with PPD and goes between the hospital and trying to kill herself.
  20. Your little sister passes you in adulting. While you can't afford your $300 rent, she buys a house.
  21. The IRS won't stop telling you your business expenses don't count and that you owe money.
  22. And you're still fighting with the unemployment people. They take you to court 3 times.
    You win each time.
  23. Due to your money issues, you have to stop your acting lessons.
  24. Which causes your teacher to call you and tell you you're not dedicated enough.
  25. You are so poor you run out of gas twice in one day.
  26. And then your SO breaks off your engagement
    But things keep sucking, so you realize your relationship did not cause all these bad thing.