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*Haven't been since birth. This is real.
  1. β€’
    How the fuck am I going to survive a 12 hour flight?
    Don't worry it's direct
  2. β€’
    Food poisoning. All of the food poisoning.
  3. β€’
    Is the seafood safe to eat?
7 more...
  1. β€’
    Get a puppy.
  2. β€’
    Get MBA. Preferably from Northwestern.
  3. β€’
    Get a promotion as a result of previously mentioned MBA degree.
5 more...
  1. β€’
    I have to study for the GMAT.
  2. β€’
    I'm so tired. It's been a really long week. Work has been absolutely insane these days.
  3. β€’
    I would actually rather order a pizza and be in sweatpants than socialize.
4 more...
  1. β€’
    Chicago
  2. β€’
    Seattle
  3. β€’
    Austin
8 more...
  1. β€’
    πŸ˜‚
    Very few people make me laugh until I cry. Consider yourself special if you receive this.
  2. β€’
    😭
    Not to be dramatic, but I use this one all the time. Generally used when talking about Mondays, work, the weather, etc.
  3. β€’
    πŸ”
    Au Cheval.
9 more...
  1. β€’
    Name: Prancing Pandas
  2. β€’
    Dropped all of my best players when they were on bye week
  3. β€’
    Leave players in lineup when they are on bye week
4 more...
Let's be real it's mostly puppies
  1. β€’
    Dailydougie
  2. β€’
    Fuckjerry
  3. β€’
    Crazyjewishmom
7 more...
  1. β€’
    Saturday (ooooh ooooh!)
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    Move Bitch
  3. β€’
    Rollout (My Business)
13 more...
  1. β€’
    Papa Johns Garlic Breadsticks
  2. β€’
    Papa Johns Cinnamon Knots
  3. β€’
    Dominos Cheesy Bread
3 more...
Living the dream #lifegoals
  1. β€’
    Food Critic
  2. β€’
    Master Brewer
  3. β€’
    Show Dog Owner
4 more...