1. Shit.
  2. I can't tell him it's my birthday right?
    That would be weird
  3. But that means I have to lie
    Well not lie, but withhold the truth
  4. What if we start dating?
  5. I have to make up a fake birthday
  6. What if the bartender cards me and is like "Oh Happy Birthday"
    Shit. You dumb idiot. read the room here I just met this man
  7. "Are you taking her out for a birthday dinner in the city?"
    Please stop.
  8. "Uh no this is the first time I've met this woman"
  9. Shit my tinder age was 22 yesterday and now it's 23
  10. This man is a lawyer, he'll see right through me
  11. This man fights for the innocent and I can't even come clean about my own birthday
  12. Should I get there early and devise a plan with the bartender?
  13. Just attach a post-it note to my license"yes I know it's my birthday. DONT FREAKING mention it"
  14. Oh perfect, all my roommates will be there
    This is an episode of Seinfeld now