THINGS MY BOSS HAS TEXTED ME, RANKED BY HOW DRUNK HE WAS

Prepare yourselves for the most punctuation marks you've ever seen in a single text.
  1. 9.
    Casual set up with his son
    Probably pretty drunk
  2. 8.
    When I told him that I described him as a chihuahua on cocaine.. He really got a kick out of that
    'Chiwawa'
  3. 7.
    Actually pretty sweet
    Why the FUCK is 'smarts' in quotation marks though
  4. 6.
    !!!!!! 'Why' and 'how' 'does' "he",,,,even 'have' the 'time'
  5. 5.
    He literally loves me
    Duh!!! I'm a freak'n! 'Godsend' you guys!!!!!
  6. 4.
    At least he's self aware
  7. 3.
    Screw@ 'Corporate!!!!
    The more exclamation points, the drunker the boss
  8. 2.
    Very drunk, very into lady gaga
    mind you this is like a 57 year old man
  9. 1.
    I have to love him
    You know, because of Stockholm Syndrome