TIMES I TURN INTO ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT CHARACTERS

  1. Giving tinder guys my cell number when I was drunk
    Shit.
  2. When my roommates eat my food
  3. Customer is looking for "the tall manager with the blonde hair"
    I shall be neither seen nor heard
  4. Usually illogical theories for excuses to finish alcohol bottles
  5. When I think my roommates will do the dishes for once
    Nope. Also why/how is our kitchen rug in the sink now?