THINGS TO NOT DO WITH YOUR COUSINS UNDER 10

  1. Curse like a sailor fucking a nymph.
  2. Watch any Marvel films. Not even Guardians of the Galaxy. No, it's not okay just because it has a CGI raccoon in it.
  3. Give them a long-winded lecture on inequity of gender norm dichotomy.
    Try not to use words like "inequity" and "dichotomy" either.
  4. Let them bargain with you.
    They're smart. They know your weaknesses. Do not let them take the reins of your kingdom.
  5. Tell them your secrets.
    They will sell them to anyone interested for a scoop of ice cream.