Brought to you by the eyelash I just fished out of my eyeball
  1. Eyelashes underneath your eyelid/on your eyeball
    Panic in my eye
  2. Paper cuts
  3. Splinters
    So painful. Why?
  4. Canker sores
    Seriously, these are the worst. And not to be confused with herpes. (To be clear.)
  5. Accidentally cutting your fingernail too close
    Agony for days
  6. Blisters
    Tiny yet render me unable to take another step
  7. Bee stings
    Those fuckers die when they sting you. How do they not realize this? Can the Queen Bee fill them in when they chat around the hive?
  8. Finding an old letter/photo or hearing a song that reminds you of an ex
    Even when you know he'd have made you miserable. Heart puncture for a second.
  9. Typos on your social media posts
    Make me want to die
  10. Stepping on a LEGO brick
    Suggested by @ChrisK
  11. Plucking a nose hair
    Suggested by @ChrisK
  12. Stubbing one's toe.
    Blind with rage for at least forty five seconds.
    Suggested by @bobbyminelli
  13. Accidentally sniffing up water/soda/any liquid that isn't snot
    Suggested by @olive