TEXTS I'VE SENT TODAY
A selection from today's iMessages...
- •I must know when the old woman is coming. We had an altercation this morning in Starbucks and she asked me if I was a cripple.
- •Sorry not sure what you're talking about but I didn't find any swim trunks in the box of scented candles!
- •Where's the garbage?
- •I just want more North Korea. What's next?
- •So how do you think klonopin mixed with sudafed mixed with having to be on stage in an hour will fare?
- •I'm sure it will be fine. Just hide your medication and money.
- •How weird! I actually wore a leopard printed one piece two days in a row this week.
- •Lots of very small dinosaurs.
- •LOL no we have ZERO money in our budget for that. Just thought I could get some free legal advice from you...
- •Reading something about why Russia is actually the funniest country. "Russian humor is slapstick, only you actually die."
- •Dennis Rodman