MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE

MINE ARE WORSE THAN YOURS
  1. Escaping rehab
  2. Subway card swiping
  3. Driving in New Jersey
  4. Fixing computers, according to my parents
  5. Confirmation bias
  6. Musing on the self, our primal anxieties, the tumblers of eternity, and the mysteries of the quantum state that ever so quietly ring within us
  7. Dive bars
    Not the fake scary bars. Serious NYC hard core dive bars that require a sixth sense to find. Where 75-year old men talk about pool chalk with 250 lb. hookers. 210 lb. hookers who have more XX intensified chromosome per strung out G-string than all of Fashion Week combined. Yup, those 160 lb. hookers who look like they were dropped off on the West Side Highway. At the bar under Port Authority that booted me because I wondered if the Buddy Holly song RollerCoaster was on the Jurassic Jukebox.
  8. Taking the heat off of the second most disappointing person in my family