she

nom de plume
  1. i'm too in love, so so in love; i can't think straight. i can't bring myself to let go of this feeling but i need to quiet my mind so i'm releasing her or rather tenderly taking her back to the hidden space in my psyche where she belongs, where i found her... then quietly closing, locking the door. i need to permanently annul this part of my mind
    she is/was the sweetest part of me. her heart so pure, transparent & true. i love her. i love how she blossomed, i love how she slowly learned to trust again, anew. i'll forever hold her dear. she allowed me to grow, to feel free, she made me vulnerable. she took my mind, body & senses to places unfamiliar softening every ounce of me moving me in directions i had never felt before. i'll miss her; beyond forever. she rescued me, resuscitated me... i'm hungry, starving. she brought me back to life
  2. thinking...
    realizing this morning that almost everything i do inadvertently in one way or another becomes an art form... although i never have a desire or need to make sense to anyone other than myself, but i do have a need to express myself, create with a cohesive flow; fluid mindful movement... from painting to sculpting to sketching to writing to letting go... all of it travels, moves seasonably from my heart to mind through my soul ultimately finding a way into my hands, captured. such a curious thing
  3. my mind, words, thoughts & feelings pulse throughout every ounce found upon my skin, body & deep within
    crazy to think i've given myself to/shared myself with only two souls since the age of twenty-one... a conscious act X2 that i'll never ever fall into regret over. beyond a curious thought
  4. i missed my 9:15 am yoga class
    simply because i had a passionate need to write. i need to annul passion from my mind too. less than a curious thought: i'm just an idiot
  5. he loves to watch her burn
    he's become addicted. he feverishly craves the fire flowing through her iridescent veins
  6. thinking...
    i become/became more internal when i only shared my mind with him... when i express myself openly obviously i'm entirely guarded but a different kind of spark ignites my fire... there's a slight amount of anger, actually not anger i don't like that emotion... there's more of a restlessness & it's physical & i love what this desire does to my mind, creatively speaking and otherwise... the disruption feels so so good... i feel caged in a good way simply because i'm the one holding the key
  7. making dinner standing alone in front of a cooktop soup simmering atop a subtle flame a glass of wine red rests on the counter 2 sips in back bare barely clothed showered clean a breeze moves through center an open room nightfall feels slate gray seasonably fall consumed w/him in thought all day a side anew emerged in the midst of list anonymity
  8. her confidence in colors builds throughout the day
    then nightfall strikes he enters & all of the magic fades away
  9. word me
    make me feel
  10. my body is so hungry, so restless. i'm starving
    currently incapable of attaching thoughts to words which is a good thing because if i could i'm fairly certain my words would be...
  11. habit forming: true
    sleepless: he has become insomnia