1. "Bitch, I'm related to George Clooney and George Clooney is related to everybody."
    Something he said when I told him he's not related to any Cowboys.
  2. "I finally realized that if you have to pee all you gotta do is unbutton your pants and you got an extra thirty minute."
  3. "Life is a run-on sentence."
  4. "It's like looking for a unicorn in a haystack, which is actually pretty easy."