ABILITIES I WISH I COULD PUT ON MY RESUME

Inspired by @egiuffri (literally months ago, yay digging through drafts)
  1. Beer bong champion
    3 seconds, bitches
  2. Underestimating the time it will take to get somewhere
    I am a pro: want to be late? Ask me when to leave
  3. Making grilled cheese
    If you aren't using the swiss + gryuère mix from Trader Joe's what are you even doing
  4. Playing devil's advocate
    I'm weirdly good at seeing both sides of things, regardless of how deeply rooted my beliefs in one side are
  5. Reciting lines from films/TV shows verbatim
    Tone + inflection included
  6. Knowing exactly where the breakdown in communication between two other people is occurring
    Somehow I can (almost) always tell what you both mean, and help steer you the right direction when you're both completely missing the point (this might actually be a good job skill)
  7. Getting ready in less than 30 minutes
    I can go from just-got-back-from-a-run to showered + hair dried + makeup on + clothes changed in 30 minutes flat
  8. Always being down to go out and adventure
    Even (especially) last minute. We'll sleep when we're dead, right??