ATTN: HUMANS WHO WISH TO DATE ME

I'm done with settling for those who aren't up to my standards. So here's a list of things that are necessary for dating me from now on (items added as deemed necessary):
  1. Tell me I'm beautiful
    Say it often. Say it when I'm dolled up or just woke up or am sweaty and dirty from hiking. Mean it.
  2. Talk about me to your friends
    Tell your friends about the awesome girl you met. Talk about what you like about me. Brag about me when I do braggable things. Brag about me when I do anything.
  3. Take me to do interesting things
    For the love of god be creative. We are not going to dinner and a movie for our first date unless it's dinner with the Pope and the movie is an advanced private screening of Captain America: Civil War and the only other audience members are Chris Evans & Robert Downey Jr.
  4. Text me randomly to tell me "this made me think of you"
    It can be a dumb meme or a song on the radio or a lady wearing an obnoxious scarf that you know I would hate and comment on; whatever it is, I want to know, because I love being thought of.
  5. Kiss me hard and often
    But only if you're a good kisser (but let's be real, I'm not gonna call you again if the first few kisses suck).