ATTN: HUMANS WHO WISH TO DATE ME
I'm done with settling for those who aren't up to my standards. So here's a list of things that are necessary for dating me from now on (items added as deemed necessary):
- •Tell me I'm beautifulSay it often. Say it when I'm dolled up or just woke up or am sweaty and dirty from hiking. Mean it.
- •Talk about me to your friendsTell your friends about the awesome girl you met. Talk about what you like about me. Brag about me when I do braggable things. Brag about me when I do anything.
- •Take me to do interesting thingsFor the love of god be creative. We are not going to dinner and a movie for our first date unless it's dinner with the Pope and the movie is an advanced private screening of Captain America: Civil War and the only other audience members are Chris Evans & Robert Downey Jr.
- •Text me randomly to tell me "this made me think of you"It can be a dumb meme or a song on the radio or a lady wearing an obnoxious scarf that you know I would hate and comment on; whatever it is, I want to know, because I love being thought of.
- •Kiss me hard and oftenBut only if you're a good kisser (but let's be real, I'm not gonna call you again if the first few kisses suck).