No, we didn't swap bodies for a day. My father took my door off its hinges once, and it was ridiculous
  1. So my dad was very strict about weird things when I was a kid
  2. He also believed in severly grounding me for very small things
    I have since learned that my mother was basically never on board which makes me feel better about the level of sanity happening at the time (at least they both weren't crazy).
  3. So one time, when I was 11 (yes, ELEVEN years old), I wore a shirt to school that I had borrowed from a friend that my parents had forbidden me from wearing
    It was a simple, pale pink top. I think maybe it was a v-neck and they thought it was "too revealing"? I honestly don't remember the specifics about the shirt in question
  4. I forgot to put my jacket on when I got off the bus, and thus got caught red handed
  5. So the obvious punishment is to remove my door from its hinges
    My room was upstairs off the loft which was where the family computer and one of our two household televisions was; without a door I had zero privacy (fantastic for a pre-teen girl, optimal situation)
  6. At the time of removal, I wasn't given a time frame on its return
    Turns out my dad thought six weeks was the appropriate amount of time for me to remain doorless
    It gets better
  8. Upon returning my door to its hinges, my father informed me that I was not allowed to shut my door until further notice
    I'll let that one sink in for a second (feel free to re-read that one, it is was ridiculous and cruel as it sounds)
  9. I should add that over the course of my six week doorless existence, I both turned 12 and graduated from sixth grade aka was starting middle school that fall
    So, again, the cruelty level is all the more heightened
  10. So, I got my door back, but it basically just sat there, wide open, taunting my poor pre-teen, angst-ridden self
  11. This lasted until after school started
    Door was removed in May, returned early July, forbidden to be shut until sometime in September/October
  12. I am the only person I know whose parents actually removed their door
    And I'm probably the only person ever (who wasn't in some sort of prison) to have their door returned, but forced to keep it open at all times
  13. But let's be real, it's this kind of weird shit that gives us the material we need to make other people laugh
    So once again, let's all raise a glass to our parents for screwing up so we could embark on lives as humourists and comedians 🍻