RECENT MOMENTS OF TERROR IN MY LIFE

  1. That time a giant black spider crawled out of my purse, onto my body. ONTO MY BODY. Did I mention this was on public transportation? THE HORROR
  2. That time a pigeon flew too close to me and its devil claw touched my face
  3. Walking face first through a spider web and being convinced for the rest of the day that a family of spiders was making a home in my hair
  4. That early morning earthquake that i was too tired to get out of bed for so I just waited for death
  5. When an old man with diamond earrings winked at me on the train
  6. Being hugged by a child at work and then immediately realizing he was riddled with pink eye