THINGS I'VE SAID AS A PRESCHOOL TEACHER

  1. "You know you're not a Googly head. So tell Ben you're not a Googly head."
  2. "Please stop digging in your underwear, go wash your hands."
  3. "Look, this is how you wipe."
  4. "If Darwin thinks everything is awesome, then he is allowed to feel that way. And you are allowed to think everything is dirty dirty"
  5. "Elliot just punched me in the face. Can you step in so I can go cry in the bathroom?"
  6. "Jake just told me he had something to give me. He handed me a huge fresh booger."