THINGS I'VE SAID AS A PRESCHOOL TEACHER
- •"You know you're not a Googly head. So tell Ben you're not a Googly head."
- •"Please stop digging in your underwear, go wash your hands."
- •"Look, this is how you wipe."
- •"If Darwin thinks everything is awesome, then he is allowed to feel that way. And you are allowed to think everything is dirty dirty"
- •"Elliot just punched me in the face. Can you step in so I can go cry in the bathroom?"
- •"Jake just told me he had something to give me. He handed me a huge fresh booger."