POSSIBLE REASONS YOU HAVEN'T TEXTED ME

Deleting this when ListApp becomes available for Android.
  1. You hate me.
  2. You love me.
  3. Your girlfriend gonegirled you.
    And you're dealing with that
  4. You gonegirled your girlfriend.
    And you're dealing with that
  5. You're reading Infinite Jest all the way through.
  6. Your Samsung Galaxy is dead and you haven't been able to replace it.
  7. You are dead.
  8. You've been subject to the weird Internet restrictions of an unknown authoritarian state which allow you to post on Facebook but not to text.
  9. You're doing the 3 days rule.
    But because you don't roll with the crowd, you made it 5 days
  10. You've been stuck in traffic for 5 days and you refuse to text and drive.
    Westside 😁🔫 I get it
  11. You're in the middle of unraveling a life-imitating-art-imitating-life Chinatown-type conspiracy that is the actual cause of California's drought.