@dana, @nish, @dilara, @corey, @JackKelly, suggestions?
  1. "Things were going well. She thought I was intelligent and attractive, as she should."
  2. "Her social media presence is weirdly intriguing. Like, I don't know anyone else who hashtags on Facebook."
  3. "What was I upset about over winter break? Modern music. Gentrification."
  4. "You ever drive around to 5 drugstores at 11:30 a.m. on a Wednesday, trying to buy your girl Plan B? That's Michigan."
  5. "It's like Chasing Amy. It's more like Chasing Amy than any other date I've been on."
  6. "She said, 'I'm celibate.' But Roxanne Kelly didn't raise no quitter."
  7. "I watched Rich Hill and I think I'm not classist anymore."
  8. "Getting shot is a cool way to die. Cooler than an overdose. Miles ahead of cancer."
  9. "Girls who like Neil Young just want to fuck their dads."
  10. "Do you guys wanna do lean? I've never done it."
  11. "Would you say girls our age are into gaunt looking guys? Kind of an unhealthy appeal?"
  12. "She has a working class jaw."
    After Jack and Audrey chaperoned my Tinder date, I came across a picture of my date and his ex girlfriend in the shower. She had nothing on me because my jaw says privilege and her jaw says working class- just like the girl in the back of our humanities class.
    Suggested by @dilara