YOU'RE COLLEGE COOL

Really "you're cool at the University of Puget Sound." A comprehensive guide.
  1. You smoke cigarettes
    You smoke black package American Spirits, illegal lucky strikes or Marlboros. If someone offers you orange package American Spirits at a party, you just roll your eyes and walk away, you've no time for basics and lightweights.
  2. You're outdoorsy
    You don't talk about it all the time, but you have camping pictures at Mount Rainier captured in 35mm on your Facebook page. Oh wait, you don't have a Facebook because you deleted it a couple months ago in order to "declutter."
  3. You're either LA Cool, Minnesota Chill, SLC Punk or Bay Area Real. Or you're from Portland.
    LA Cool = you grew up on the West Side and chain smoke. Minnesota Chill = you're more outdoorsy, objectively nice. Bay Area Real = Bad bitch from the Bay Area. You've "seen things." You have feminist tattoos and unshaven armpits. You're trying to reclaim the word "bitch." You write violent romantic poetry. You don't fucking owe anyone anything. Portland = East Side > West Side > Lake Oswego.
  4. You say you like punk rock
    You've been obsessed with The Clash, Gang of Four and Sleater-Kinney since you were "like 5, but actually."
  5. You're involved with the campus radio station
    Involvement ranges from having a paid position to making out with a DJ at a party. You? You play obscure 70s punk rock at 11pm Tuesday nights. Your show is after your homie's; he plays exclusively Vaporwave. Pitchfork? What's Pitchfork?
  6. You're weird, but you dress cool so no one really knows
    You wear neutrals and dark colors. Only dark colors, really. Only black, really. Clothes are from Goodwill or American Apparel because Urban Outfitters and Forever 21 use Indonesian cotton and you're big into social justice.
  7. You're trying but not trying
    You try really hard to look like you're not trying at all.