My Borderline Useless Areas of Expertise 💁🏽
For my first list, I figured I should do an introduction of sorts. Maybe you can relate.
- •Quoting the movie Matilda in daily conversation.I pretty much know this movie line-for-line. I mean, come on, you can throw in a Matilda reference practically anywhere. Getting ready in the morning: "I say appearance is 9/10 of the law. People don't buy a car, they buy me - which is why I personally take such pride in my appearance." Innocent questions: "Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair?" And of course, to throw into any possible situation ever: "Hold the newt."
- •Hiding bars of chocolate around the house.I don't really know why I do it, maybe to keep others from stealing it, but it happens and sometimes I even surprise myself. I've got chocolate in purses, work bags, drawers, and shoe racks. I found a Cookies 'n Cream bar the other day!
- •The Maine trivia.This is probably the most useless thing on the list because for one it's so niche, and also because no one I know even knows who The Maine is except for my sister. But you want trivia on The Maine (a pop punk alt rock band from AZ)? I've got you covered. Tattoos, Halloween costumes, touring crew, etc. The list of useless information goes on.
- •Making French toast.Something marginally useful! This is one thing I am great at, mostly because it's my favorite breakfast item. I like to mix sugar into the batter, which is probably why I like it so much.
- •Also baking molten chocolate cake.Keeping on trend with sweet things, I make great molten chocolate cake. Ooey, gooey, yummy. I've got your breakfast, dessert, and midday chocolate bar covered. I should add trying to not become Diabetic to the list.
- •Being on time.I have a chronic fear of being late, and also an annoyance with lateness in general. As such, I suffer from DES (dork early syndrome) and am usually really great at being on time...um, early.
- •Thinking I've been a chatterbox all day when I haven't said a word in hours.Maybe this is just me, but I have a constant stream of conversation with myself in my head. Which is great because I'm rarely bored, but I'm kind of a quiet person IRL. So while I feel like I've been talking all day, in actuality I haven't, and so when I do actually speak (at work) my voice comes out as a croak or like a whisper. Who knew you could lose your voice from not talking??
- •Watching Leonardo DiCaprio('s character) die.He dies a lot. In a lot of movies I enjoy. Which is both depressing and oddly as it should be. Could Rose have made more room for Jack? Probably. Could Trooper Brown have trusted Billy Costigan? Arguably. Could Romeo have been less stupid. Definitely. But that's ok, I find that I don't mind so much anymore. I think I googled the number of time Leo dies in a movie and it's like 9 times. Which is nowhere close to the record, but it's still a lot.