[πŸ’πŸ»] ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME

Ok not really. More like random quotes from movies or tv shows provided without source.
  1. β€’
    Personal style:
    An Australian's nightmare
  2. β€’
    To all my haters:
    I am as God made me sirs
  3. β€’
    Go to pick up line:
    I got a feeling that beneath those jeans, there's something wonderful just waiting to get out.
  4. β€’
    Jamming to:
    My Awesome Mix Tape Number 6
  5. β€’
    Reason for my last breakup:
    Him: "I'm a Pisces" Me: "What? I can't deal with no Pisces"
  6. β€’
    Say my prayers to:
    David St. Hubbins, the patron saint of quality footwear
  7. β€’
    How I feel when I'm doing my thing:
    Like a preserved moose on stage
  8. β€’
    How I feel feelings:
    I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I wasn't under such heavy sedation
  9. β€’
    How I win my arguments when I'm trying to keep the peace:
    I love you but you don't know what you're talking about
  10. β€’
    How I win my arguments when I'm trying to be mean:
    Them: "1996 called. It wants its clothes back.” Me: β€œ2090 called. You’re dead and you wasted your time on Earth."
  11. β€’
    When I've been betrayed:
    At least Judas had the decency to kill himself after he betrayed Jesus, CEO of the world, you know him?
  12. β€’
    When I'm not amused:
    If this is your idea of a joke, then you belong in a Woody Allen film because I’m not laughing.
  13. β€’
    When I need to disseminate tough love:
    You look like a ferret that gave up on itself 6 months ago
  14. β€’
    Last time I partied:
    You guys are all so cool, you should be having this party in Tulum
  15. β€’
    Thoughts when I'm feeling down:
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
  16. β€’
    When I think about the world too much:
    Everyone's walking around like they're in a fucking Enya video (said with outrage)
  17. β€’
    When I'm spewing some truth
    The 3 true branches of the government are military, corporate and Hollywood
  18. β€’
    When I have to go
    I'd love to stay and chat but I have to go sit in the lobby and wait for my limo