[💁🏻] ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME
Ok not really. More like random quotes from movies or tv shows provided without source.
- •Personal style:An Australian's nightmare
- •To all my haters:I am as God made me sirs
- •Go to pick up line:I got a feeling that beneath those jeans, there's something wonderful just waiting to get out.
- •Jamming to:My Awesome Mix Tape Number 6
- •Reason for my last breakup:Him: "I'm a Pisces" Me: "What? I can't deal with no Pisces"
- •Say my prayers to:David St. Hubbins, the patron saint of quality footwear
- •How I feel when I'm doing my thing:Like a preserved moose on stage
- •How I feel feelings:I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I wasn't under such heavy sedation
- •How I win my arguments when I'm trying to keep the peace:I love you but you don't know what you're talking about
- •How I win my arguments when I'm trying to be mean:Them: "1996 called. It wants its clothes back.” Me: “2090 called. You’re dead and you wasted your time on Earth."
- •When I've been betrayed:At least Judas had the decency to kill himself after he betrayed Jesus, CEO of the world, you know him?
- •When I'm not amused:If this is your idea of a joke, then you belong in a Woody Allen film because I’m not laughing.
- •When I need to disseminate tough love:You look like a ferret that gave up on itself 6 months ago
- •Last time I partied:You guys are all so cool, you should be having this party in Tulum
- •Thoughts when I'm feeling down:The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- •When I think about the world too much:Everyone's walking around like they're in a fucking Enya video (said with outrage)
- •When I'm spewing some truthThe 3 true branches of the government are military, corporate and Hollywood
- •When I have to goI'd love to stay and chat but I have to go sit in the lobby and wait for my limo