[👊🏽] PEOPLE I'VE FOUGHT TODAY

Just 1 but here's the story:
  1. 83 year old man on the street
  2. So, it is a nice summer day in New York City. I was walking down the sidewalk looking at my phone
    Yeah yeah, I'm a millennial, sue me.
  3. I ALMOST crashed into an 83 year old man
    Obviously I swerved, what am I, an amateur?
  4. Said man was severely offended by ME
    He was not angry that I almost crashed into him, he was angry that I almost crashed into him while I was staring at my phone. If I had been distracted by all of the beauty that exists beyond my screen, he wouldn't have cared. I know the sky is blue grandpa, this @list isn't going to write itself.
  5. After our near miss....
    Which he tried to avert by flailing his arms while continuing to walk STRAIGHT TOWARDS ME 🙄 and which I noticed because I am a ninja (he was already on my radar, don't you dare be on his side). Although I respect his willingness to die for a cause.
  6. He yelled the following: LOOK UP! GET A LIFE!
    Ummmmmm get a life?!?! WHY would he assume that I don't have a life? That is just RUDE.
  7. So I yelled: I HAVE ONE! YOU ARE MEAN!
    I called him mean. Burn.
  8. And then we both kept walking
    But I felt bad because I contributed to generational warfare.
  9. As I continued to walk I felt hurt by his totally out of proportion reaction, and his conclusion that I don't have a life
    Was it the hair?
  10. Then, I saw some dude who was about to crash into me because he was playing PokemonGo
    So I kicked him in the balls ✌🏽️