Things People Say When You Are Taking Care of an Ill (Cancer) Family Member

  1. I don't know how you do it.
    Honestly, I don't know either but I do it. It's a matter of necessity. My mother needs me & there's no question, I'm going to be there. No. Matter. What.
  2. What stage cancer does she have?
    I don't know. Not every cancer is staged. There are really so many unknowns that if we knew she was one stage vs another would it make things better? Probably not. Why focus on the stage? Let's keep the focus on the patient.
  3. Oh she lost her hair? That's my biggest fear...
    Oh really? That's your biggest fear? Losing your hair while trying to stay alive seems like a reasonable fear... C'mon people! Hair? Yes it's important as a woman but let's be real, that's minor in comparison to chemotherapy, radiation, loss of motor & cognitive skills.
  4. What can I do to help?
    I appreciate the offer but you know what? I don't know the answer to that. Some days I don't know what I want. Coffee or tea? Salad or sandwich? To get out of bed or just lay there and cry? Just be there if I call you, that's the best thing you can do. Send me a text to let me know you're thinking of me. Those honestly mean more than you realize.
  5. What's the prognosis?
    Just don't ask that. Period end of story. That to me is like asking if a woman is pregnant. You just don't do it.
  6. Did you get second opinion?
    Yes. We aren't dealing with a cold here... We've talked to doctors, searched the web, talked to insurance companies, second opinion consultants, friends, family, or anyone we could to figure this out. I'm pretty sure that any sensible person would not just take a diagnosis of CNS lymphoma lightly.
  7. Do you like her doctor?
    Is that's really a question? No, I think she's a bitch and I don't trust her but sure we'll keep seeing her.