THE FIRST TIME I GOT DRUNK

First referenced in my previous list: 2016: A YEAR OF FIRSTS || Oh my god you guys this is so long I'm so sorry. It's not even that great of a story really I'm just ridiculously long winded when it comes to storytelling. I'M SO SORRY. || Inspired by @k8zinker
  1. β€’
    LOL GUYS THIS WAS JUST LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO πŸ™ˆ
  2. β€’
    BACKGROUND: growing up in a Christian home/environment, alcohol was always frowned upon (especially getting drunk), though both my parents had a fruity mixed drink every once in a while I guess
    My mom loves sangria and my dad loves strawberry daiquiris πŸ‘€
  3. β€’
    Eventually, alcohol seemed like a more casual thing to me (along with many other things I was previously strongly opposed to, lol @ my youthful self-righteousness)
    This was mostly because both of my older brothers drank as they came of age (and a little before that), so I didn't feel like it was a big deal. Also they let me try sips of a lot of stuff that they were drinking, probably starting when I was 16.
  4. β€’
    I went to a Christian college; it was a dry campus, and drinking alcohol anywhere in any context was against the "lifestyle guidelines" everyone agrees to when they sign the housing contract
    I was pretty good about following this rule (I'm a total rule follower just in general), and I wasn't friends with anyone who bothered to even try drinking.
  5. β€’
    On my 21st birthday, I got dinner with my parents (who drove all the way to central Ohio to celebrate with me, go parents!) and got a sweet tea
    Even though I was an hour from campus, I felt a little bad breaking the rules. Plus my parents still don't like alcohol much, so I would've felt awkward ordering a drink in front of them (still do).
  6. β€’
    FAST FORWARD: the night in question
    Again I remind you, this just happened at the beginning of this summer πŸ™ˆ
  7. β€’
    I was invited to "dinner, drinks, and games" by my cousin (N), feat. another cousin (T) and his girlfriend (C) at C's house
    It didn't click that drinks meant ~drinks~ because I'm a precious innocent child, obviously
  8. β€’
    N gave me a drink of lemonade mixed with blue raspberry flavored vodka almost as soon as I walked in
    I drank this with my dinner. It was delicious.
  9. β€’
    We went downstairs for board games, each of us having refilled our drinks
    T also brought down the blue vodka, as well as a bottle of grape vodka and a bottle of tequila
  10. β€’
    It was later decided we would make our game into a drinking game
    We were playing Smartass. The rule was that when you got a question wrong, you took a drink. Not a shot, just a sip of your vodka lemonade thing.
  11. β€’
    Eventually they realized I'd never been drunk before
    They were all totally shocked, which I was kind of insulted by, but WHATEVER.
  12. β€’
    They decided to rectify this by giving me a shot of blue vodka
    No shot glasses were present, but C found some tiny Dixie cups and used those instead. They were bigger than an actual shot by far.
  13. β€’
    And then another shot of blue vodka (for getting a question wrong)
    It tastes way gross by itself btw. Lemonade is everything in this scenario.
  14. β€’
    And then a shot of tequila (😷)
    But we all took shots of tequila, not just me. Solidarity I guess.
  15. β€’
    We then switched games to Splickety Lit
    I'd never heard of it, but it involves hearing questions where the beginning sounds of two words are swapped, then answering them the same way. So not only do you have to figure out what the hell the question was trying to say, you then have to swap the letters around in your head to answer "correctly" β€” not even easy when you're sober.
  16. β€’
    This dissolved into talking and laughing and gossiping
    I remember all of it! Mostly…
  17. β€’
    I frequently mentioned that I should drink some water and that I needed to get up early for work the next day
    Both very true statements.
  18. β€’
    Instead, N would say "you don't need water" and C would offer me more blue vodka and say "look, it's blue water"
    Fortunately I was not drunk enough to agree to drink even more vodka, let alone believe that it was water.
  19. β€’
    I was also texting my dad and my brother (it was his birthday)
    I was using FULL SENTENCES with NO MISTAKES. V proud of myself in the moment. The same could not be said of my tweets, but fortunately they were on my private account and not the public one 😳
  20. β€’
    I stopped having fun when my head started spinning
    I went from laughter to misery in like no time at all. Out of nowhere my head felt awful, so I tried laying it on the couch, but the room was still spinning in circles and it was the worst.
  21. β€’
    I attempted to go upstairs to get water
    I definitely could not walk even remotely straight, so just walking over to the stairs was a chore.
  22. β€’
    I had to crawl in order to navigate the stairs
    So dizzy, can't climb steps upright.
  23. β€’
    I hear the other three loudly wondering where I went, when N shouts "she's trying to drink water!!!"
    Why they were so intent on preventing me from hydrating myself I have no idea. Drunk people are not kind to other drunk people πŸ™„
  24. β€’
    All of the sudden, C has wrapped her arms around my legs, trying to keep me from making it up the steps
    THEY WERE LITERALLY SO DETERMINED TO KEEP ME FROM DRINKING WATER YOU GUYS
  25. β€’
    I eventually broke free, staggered into the kitchen, fumbled a solo cup from the stack, and filled it up with tap water
    This was the best water has ever tasted. My hands were shaking trying to drink it though, so I spilled a little.
  26. β€’
    Shortly after this, my stomach decided to totally betray me, but not in the way I expected
    I ran (well, kind of) to the bathroom, and ~TMI~ I had real bad diarrhea. Not fun at any time, but even less fun when your head is spinning and you're feeling extra warm. Bleh.
  27. β€’
    C knocked on the door to ask if was okay/if I was throwing up
    She didn't believe me when I said no, but that's probably because I didn't elaborate. Who wants to talk about why they're in the bathroom though?
  28. β€’
    I then started putting water straight in my mouth from the bathroom sink
    I was feeling REAL BAD in my head, like the spinning was overwhelming me, and I didn't know how else to calm down. I just wanted it to cease and desist immediately. I think I literally spent 15 minutes stooped over the sink, scooping water into my mouth in hopes that my head would just slow down.
  29. β€’
    C came back with T, so I finally opened the door for them
    They were worried I guess. SHOULDVE LET ME DRINK WATER SOONER, DUMMIES.
  30. β€’
    C asks if I'm okay, and immediately after I say yes (and mean it), out of absolutely nowhere, I projectile vomitedβ€”half into the sink and half onto the floor
    It was a tiny bathroom, so I should've been able to hit the toilet, but it came on so suddenly that I didn't have time to aim. At all.
  31. β€’
    This happened 2–3 more times in less than 5 minutes
    Not surprisingly, the vomit was very blue.
  32. β€’
    When it seemed like I was done, C and T took me upstairs to the guest room and made me lie down
    I had started the night intending to go home, get a good night's sleep, etc. πŸ™ƒ
  33. β€’
    I kept getting up to drink water out of the sink
    Still desperately trying to get rid of the spinning.
  34. β€’
    At one point, C's cat came in and rubbed against my hand that was hanging off the side of the bed
    I talked to him for a while. I don't remember everything I said, but I told him I wanted to go home and that I shouldn't have drank so much. He didn't respond, so I think he was probs judging me a little. I felt lonely when he left.
  35. β€’
    After what felt like 5 hours of my head spinning around, I fell asleep
    Not very restful, but better than nothing.
  36. β€’
    In the morning I drank some more water, awkwardly said goodbye to C and T, and left
    I didn't clean up my puke because 1) I still had to go home and get ready for work and 2) I'm the wooooorst. C gave me some serious passive-aggressive shade about having to clean it up next time I saw her. Oops? πŸ™ƒ Also I found out before I left that N had driven home. I texted her about it because I was worried, and she was like "oh I'm fine, it's you I was worried about" and I'm like okay but you're the one who drove when you were def not sober?? STILL PISSED ABOUT IT TBH.
  37. β€’
    T later said "at least you know your limit now" and I was like πŸ€”
    Literally have no clue other than don't have 2 vodka lemonade things and 3 additional shots??? OBVI THAT IS PAST THE LIMIT FOR MOST PEOPLE (at least my of my size/inexperience)
  38. β€’
    I have since sworn off of blue raspberry vodka
    No thanks. πŸ™…πŸ»
  39. β€’
    I also decided I'm never getting drunk again
    But idk if this is realistic since it's not like I got drunk intentionally?? WE'LL SEE.