How the hell did I survive childhood?!?
  1. When I was babysat by my 3 year old brother...
    We lived in NorthCarolina and we went out for a family beach outing. My parents asked my older brother (who was 3) to baby sit me. I was placed inside of a Donald Duck raft and his only job was to hold on to the rope... When my parents finally came to check on us, they asked him where I was and he pointed to a spec out in the ocean... The coast guard had to retrieve me.
  2. Movie Night
    I didn't think much of it then, but we didn't watch kid friendly movies during family movie night. We mostly watched Faces of Death videos where people caught grizzly deaths on video and compiled them for our viewing pleasure.
  3. Booze Cruising
    When my mom was working on the weekends, my dad would get bored with us kids at home. He would load us into the back of the car and drive to the package store. He would get a case of beer and we would get a soda and our choice of a beef jerky or snickers bar. We would then ride around in the country on gravel roads while he proceeded to drink his case of beer.
  4. Chain Smoking
    When we were in the car, we were surrounded by a cloud of cigarette smoke. Sometimes when my dad threw his cigarette out of his window, it would come in the backseat window and burn whoever was sitting behind him.
  5. Bicycle Helmets
    Those were for dorks.
  6. Alcohol
    I was about 6 when I was given wine with dinner. My father said that the children in Europe did it...
  7. Dangerous Chores
    Breaking horses, painting the barn roof, mowing the grass, cutting wood, adding wood to the fire, all before the age of 10.