SELECT ITEMS FROM MARTHA STEWART'S JUNE CALENDAR

Her monthly calendar is the best part of the magazine, hands down.
  1. "Stroll through peony garden, now in bloom"
    Why do you have to schedule a stroll?!
  2. "Godson Augustine Booth-Clibborn's birthday"
  3. "Host friends for a picnic and game of croquet"
  4. "Attend Westchester Land Trust annual benefit, honoring Benjamin Needell, in North Salem, New York"
    She SO has a crush on Benjamin, otherwise why note his name in her calendar?!
  5. "Sharpen knives and scissors"
    Whoa there!
  6. "Organize wine collection; stock up on summer whites"
    Nice semi-colon usage in your calendar, Martha! Also, are you seriously trying to get me to believe your wine collection wasn't already organized?
  7. "Friend David Rockefeller turns 100!"
    Martha, you ain't got to name drop! You're Martha Stewart!
  8. "Wash and groom cats"
    Do you really do this? Don't you pay someone to?
  9. "Clean outdoor lighting fixture"
    Seriously you do this yourself?? You don't pay someone else?
  10. "Schedule dog-grooming appointments"
    So THIS is the thing you don't do yourself. Huh.
  11. "Plant a second crop of beet and spinach seeds"
    Second!!
  12. "Weight training"
  13. "Cardio and core"
  14. "Pilates"
    Get it, girl!