THINGS I SAY TO MY CAT

Yeah, I guess I'm obnoxious.
  1. "If you didn't want to be petted, you should stop being so cute!"
  2. "Sequoia! Sequoia! Sequoia! Sequoia! Sequoia! Hi!"
    This is shouted at her when she's sleeping and I want her to pay attention to me.
  3. "Good morning baby girl!"
    This is also when she's sleeping but I wake up, so naturally I want to wake her up too so we can make meaningful eye contact.
  4. "Why are you so pretty? It's not fair to all the other kitties!"
  5. "Are you pooping?"
    Yes, clearly she is pooping, but I like to ask her anyways.
  6. "There's the purr monster!"
    This is when I pet her and she starts purring.
  7. "NO! NO! NO! NO!"
  8. "You giving yourself a bath? That's cool."
  9. "Bye! Bye kitty! Bye bye! Byeeeeee!"
    When I can't bring myself to leave her. Which is every time I leave home.
  10. "I love you!"
    Usually my boyfriend thinks I'm talking to him when I say this, so then I have to pretend like I was.
  11. "I love you too much. Stop it! It hurts!"