THINGS I SAY TO MY CAT, PART 2

  1. "Hi, loaf of bread!"
    She just looks so much like a loaf of bread!
  2. "Perv!"
    When I'm peeing or taking a bath and she watches
  3. "No! That's my cheese!"
  4. "Hi! Oh ok bye."
  5. "I feed you and this is how you repay me?"
    When she doesn't kill bugs for me
  6. "Why do you do the things you do?!"
    Like when she gallops around the room as though chasing an imaginary friend, clings onto the side of the couch, and then rolls over and instantly falls asleep.
  7. "Hi lion queen!"
  8. "Get it girl!"
    When she is pooping or grooming her butthole
  9. "Will you test this water for me?"
    When I trick her into being hydrated by putting down a huge bowl of water on the floor, instead of her little cat water bowl
  10. "What are you eating?!?! Uhhp, well, it's gone now."
  11. "There's the gargoyle!"
    When she is a gargoyle