THINGS THAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING

My boyfriend and I were apart this morning. We had the following conversation to catch each other up on what we missed. Turns out it was a bad morning, but hilariously so.
  1. My boyfriend: "I cut my thumb on a sardine can."
  2. My boyfriend: "I also broke a mug."
  3. Me: "I got a parking ticket."
  4. My boyfriend: "Also, Sequoia pooped on the floor."