TWITTER BIOS THAT WILL MAKE ME H8 YOU

  1. "Human being."
    Like, we know.
  2. Basically any Drake lyric.
    "I live for the nights that I can't remember, with the people I won't forget." Please, quiet down
  3. Your significant other's initials with a series of ~romantic~ emojis to follow.
    Worse if 💍 emoji is used when not married/engaged. I'm sick of your emoji lies.
  4. Your very specific, long-winded job title.
    They're are exceptions to this rule, but it's mostly pretty douchey.
  5. "5/5 follow ❤️"
    For people over 12, this is how fangirls let the world know how many members of their favorite band follow them on Twitter. Largely used by One Direction fans. I hate this for many reasons, mostly because IT'S RUDE TO BRAG. But also because it reminds me that they're only 4 members of 1D now. And all these fractions are lies.
  6. "For booking inquiries: ________@aol.com"
    BOOKING FOR WHAT. STOP THIS.
  7. "King of all Media."
    Howard Stern's actual bio. Just ran across it. Had to add.