THINGS I BELIEVED AS A CHILD
Young, gullible, and confused since 1991
- •If I swallowed gum I would die for 7 yearsLegitimately chewed gum for the first time at age 15
- •The stock market was a room full of fancy chairsMisheard a fellow third grader talk about buying "shares" of the stock market and thought it was a classroom full of intricate chairs worth thousands of dollars
- •Watching too much TV would turn my eyes squareDefinitely planted by my parents to discourage television use
- •If I crossed my eyes for too long they would get stuck that wayCommon misconception, terrified of crossing my eyes for years, still feel a little wary
- •Swallowing watermelon seeds would make a watermelon grow in my stomachOnly the black seeds
- •In magicStill remember the day when I asked my mom if magic was real and she gave me some vague answer along the lines of just because it is happening instead your head Avery why on earth should that mean it is not real? It was not unlike the scene in Boyhood.