10 Albums I'd Take to a Desert Island (Please Don't Send Me to Die on a Fucking Island, You Guys)

  1. Fleetwood Mac, "Rumours"
    Please don't send me to die on a desert island.
  2. The Kinks, "Arthur (Or The Decline And Fall Of The British Empire)"
    Please. Turn this boat around. Don't send me to a desert island with nothing but 10 albums on an iPod Nano.
  3. Sam Cooke, "The Man and His Music"
    Guys, I get it: every six months we send an Offering to the Island in hopes that the Gods will be appeased and end this terrible drought. But what I'm saying is: I don't want to go to the Island and please don't send me to the Island.
  4. The Clash, "London Calling"
    I've got a wife and a kid. A baby boy. Do you want him to grow up without a father, you monsters? You goddamned beasts? Is that what you want?
  5. Rolling Stones, "Exile on Main St."
    It's not too late to turn this boat around. Underneath your Victorian bird masks and my white linen Offering gown, we are the same, you guys. We're just people. People on a boat, approaching a desert island covered in hundreds of skeletons holding iPod Nanos.
  6. Paul Simon, "Graceland"
    Oh, Gods, this is really happening. Please. Please stop smearing my forehead with sacred oils and listen to me. Please.
  7. The Beach Boys, "Pet Sounds"
    (sobbing)
  8. Elvis Costello, "My Aim Is True"
    (sobbing)
  9. Smash Mouth, "Greatest Hits"
    Just included this one as a goof :)
  10. The Beatles, "Revolver"
    (sobbing)