I MIGHT BE DEPRESSED?

A real upper of a list
  1. Ya girl has struggled with panic attacks and (mostly undiagnosed) cynical depression for most of her life
  2. I've been told I was clinically depressed by non-familial medical professionals exactly twice
    Coincidentally they were both times I started seeing new therapists o_O
  3. My family just says I'm dramatic and moody
    They're not wrong
  4. I do have a decent number of mood swings
  5. Still get those good ol' panic attacks
  6. Since graduating college though I feel like I've lost all the things that make me me?
  7. Which I know is *normal* for your twenties but feels horrible
  8. I feel like I can't do anything right at work
  9. I feel stuck
  10. I feel unmotivated
  11. I can't keep up with any routines/commitments
  12. Basically I can't make myself do anything
  13. I feel deeply alone
  14. I'm smoking a stupid amount of weed to compensate
    Ayoooo self medication
  15. I'm totally unmotivated and feel more lost than normal regarding the future
  16. I feel Helpless like the song in Hamilton but without any of the love or fun parts
  17. My social anxiety has gone through the roof like I'm nearly paralyzed in social situations that I used to thrive in
  18. And a ton of other stuff
  19. I'm having an even harder time talking to people even if I'm the one initiating it?
  20. Guess I have to call my therapist again tomorrow 😔