REASONS WHY MY NEIGHBOR CARL IS THE WORST

  1. His band is terrible.
  2. Said band only knows how to play "Amber is the color of your energy" and "wonderwall"
  3. Those used to be songs I like. Now I get a rash when I hear them.
  4. I'm pretty sure he's a male escort.
  5. His outdoor shrubbery is so much greener than mine.
    F$cking Carl.