Things I'd Like to Change About Myself
- •I'm always earlyThis sounds like a cheesy job interview answer but it's absolutely something I want to change. I am so nervous about being late that I inevitably end up sitting and waiting for people. Usually 20-30 minutes. I end up feeling like they're late which is just crazy unfair.
- •My relationship with makeupI fetishize women who don't wear make up. I find them beautiful and I think them immediately more interesting. I don't wear make up everyday. In fact I live upstate part time where friends are shocked when I wear mascara but in NYC and LA I do. It reminds me of the essay by Jonathan Franzen in How to be Alone about women putting make up on the subway and who that face is for vs the people watching them apply.I still feel that to pretty I need make up and I feel I need to be pretty in my business
- •EndorphinsPeople talk about these in relation to working out. I seem to be missing those ones
- •RageI react disproportionately to everyday rudeness, like when someone doesn't let me off the subway before trying to get on. When large men sit ON me rather than next to me- we should each have our own seat stop taking half of mine... I am writing this as its happening and trying to stop myself from elbowing this fucker- see? I have an issue
- •My annoying criticI read somewhere that the judgmental part of the brain turns off when great improvisers are improvising. I would love a break from my intense self judgement but as my UCB list shows- it didn't help me
- •My refusal to proof readI'm sure there are huge grammatical issues and typos in here and yet time and time again I publish things only to be embarrassed later. My mother often points out my Twitter typos and I could avoid so much shame.