1. larry is real and will one day release a tell all book detailing the affair
  2. niall is actually the leprechaun from disney's luck of the irish
  3. harry only wears shoes worth >$50k made of exotic spices
  4. zayn was brainwashed by naughty boy & is now a helpless babe with no home
  5. perrie is an alien child sent to yoko ono the band
  6. louis is actually a subway rat that wandered into a coney island gypsy shack where a witch turned him into a hot boy band member in return for his soul and the promise to drag the wanted